DARAGA: In a predominantly conservative country, Mother’s Day celebrations are often suffused with traditional images of nuclear families.
Whether it is a picture of a husband surprising his wife with an indulgent breakfast in bed or kids doing the household chores to give their moms a much-needed pampering session, this Hallmark day had always capitalized on images that mothers get a one-day break from all responsibilities.
But with no husband to pamper you and kids relying on you to get through the day, what does Mother’s Day look like to a single mom?
We get up close and personal with Jennifer Santos, 44, who is raising her two children in Singapore, to show that motherhood has many faces.
“As a single mom, I sometimes forget that it’s Mother’s Day because I usually work until the weekend. Because of the stressful lifestyle here in Singapore, I would rather just take the time to rest and recharge than make a big deal of this holiday,” Santos said in an online interview.
But while Mother’s Day may seem
like any other day, the University of the Philippines graduate, a senior teacher at a renowned music school in the island nation, said it is her kids, aged 11 and 9, who never fail to surprise her on this special day.
“My kids usually make handmade cards with their drawings and sweet messages written on them,” she said.
“Every time I see them, I see my purpose of why I do what I do. I realize that there’s so much I could be grateful for. As long as we’re always together, happy, and healthy, that’s enough to be thankful for.”
Tough job
For the talented mom who also loves to paint, Mother’s Day is a celebration of the love, dedication, and hard work of all strong mothers.
“It’s the recognition of their valuable contribution that keeps the family together,” she added.
Amid all the sacrifices, she said her only dream is for her children to grow up resilient as they navigate life’s challenges.
“The real world can be cruel but at the same time, a happy place. I just want my children to appreciate the simple
joys of life because in this age of excessive materialism and superficiality, that is the only way to live contentedly,” she said.
Solo journey
After living with her Singaporean husband for 11 years, Santos became a single mom in 2017. Their divorce was finalized in 2021.
Embarking on the solo parenthood journey was initially hard, especially because her children were only 5 and 3 then.
“There were so many challenges at first, from managing our finances and household to handling logistics. You’re not just a mother. You’re also a father, disciplinarian, counselor, tutor, cook, plumber and electrician, on top of your regular day job,” she said.
“But once you find your rhythm and sort everything out, all you have to do is oversee the operation. You know you can do it even with your eyes closed,” she added.
Typical of single moms, Santos said that she has always battled with the guilt of not being present for her kids all the time because she needs to work extra hours to provide for their needs.
She shared
, however, that she has learned to prioritize spending quality time with her children over the quantity of time spent with them, as a way to ease her feelings of guilt.
“Time may not always be on your side as a single working mom, but you can always make the time spent with your children more meaningful,” she said.
Santos has toured the scenic spots of Malaysia, Singapore, the Philippines, and Thailand with her children, believing that investing in good memories with them yields the best returns.
Her message to her fellow single moms: Be strong.
“It may be difficult at first, but you’ll overcome it. It will come to pass. Once you’ve gone through that dark tunnel, you will emerge into the light with your head held high,” she said.
Source: Philippines News Agency